heyya, it’s been a while

i woke up and picked up my phone. this is the habit of a million people, i’m sure. the google home page tells me about the news that i missed yesterday after not checking a device most of the day… 20 people killed in el paso in a wal-mart. rodney says, what are you doing? i said, reading the news. some guy killed a bunch of people in a wal-mart. did he buy the gun there? he asked. i chuckled, yea probably, and tried to go back to sleep.

that’s not going to happen. so i read the nytimes article. white guy who thinks brown people are going to take over america, so he opens fire, with an automatic weapon, on folks who are JUST FUCKING SHOPPING.

i feel sick.

i can’t imagine being attacked, shot at, killed, because of my skin color. i have white privilege. i will likely never be the victim of race hate crime. i will never agree with the “president” of this country, who, without actually saying so, agrees with the masses that want to “send her back”.

i’ve been reading about, listening to, watching the history of woodstock today (50 years ago) and wish that the american people had the gumption to do that again. we need change. something has to give, and it can’t be human lives anymore. it can’t be prayed away. it can’t be thought around. it can’t be picketed against. it can’t simply be a candlelight vigil. something has to give.

a little stressed out

i don’t care for adulting about large amounts of money. the large amount, in my case, is my mortgage. i need to refinance to get a lower interest rate and a lower-term mortgage and to get a home equity loan so i can fix things wrong with the house and get a new roof and put a half-bath in upstairs. but, get this. i’m *just shy* of 80% if i use the city’s assessed value as the worth. but, if i use the magic database number from the lender and the appraisal comes in like it did three years ago, i’ll be even more stressed.

after the phone call with the lender, i got a letter stating i could refi without an appraisal, but i still need to get my friend over to give me an estimate so i know how much i need to ask for.

there should be mortgage doulas. not a financial advisor; i don’t need one of those because i don’t enough extra money to pay someone to tell me what to do with the leftover i would have if i were paying someone.

meanwhile, merley is laying next to me on the couch, dreaming with her eyes open, reminding me to stop stressing about something so relatively ephemeral.

something happened

i realized yesterday, while walking to the water cooler at work, that something’s taken place over the last year or more? i feel extra-super confident. walking the dogs, making food, making decisions at work, making decisions about the house.

specifically, i thought, “we just had a phone call with a *surgeon* and i know more about something (website building) than he does. that’s pretty neat.” of course, i then started thinking about how my friend, russell, freely admits to not knowing what he’s doing and just faking being an adult. i don’t think i’m faking, but i do make shit up all the time, hoping that it’ll turn out. it seems to be going okay so far.

in other news, my friend lance is coming over to give me a bid on a new roof and a bathroom upstairs. i have enough equity to get a decent loan and a bathroom on the second floor would be so amazing. i’ve also got some landscaping notions rolling around in my grey matter but need to get a friend in the industry to come over and tell me if i’m crazy or not (about this, anyway).

knowledge is power

ever since i figured out why my mood has changed a little, it’s easier to identify when i’m about to say something inconsiderate in the online work chat.

i’ve done the yoga swing routine that i posted recently three times now, and i’m getting better at the inversion, and even tried the bow pose successfully (one leg gets unwrapped and grabbed by the opposite arm from underneath the swing).

i’m trying to figure out which type of legging to wear because my go-to yoga pants are slippery on the swing fabric and i nearly fell out trying the bow pose last time. i wore my cuddlduds for the routine today and they seemed a little better. maybe i need more spandex/lycra in my life? who thought i would ever pen those words?

no party this year

i guess, in all my excitement about getting the house situated and the food blog, i forgot to announce that i’m not having a memorial weekend party this year.

i used to joke that it was an excuse to clean the house so it was at least presentable in the dark. there isn’t much to clean now, since we’re keeping it relatively clean and i’ve purged a lot of things from the first floor rooms.

also, i’m sad to report that Marco passed away last night, in my hoody.

my silence is a *good* thing

after having this blog for over 15 years, you’d think i would have learned a thing or two about how difficult it is to keep it up. or make time for it.

i’ve written quite a few posts to the food blog, and have about five in draft mode, waiting for me to sit down and write. the posts about “original” recipes take the longest, clocking in around 3 hours. the ones about other people’s recipes are only a little shorter because i don’t have to write the actual recipe card content, but still 2-2.5. the reviews (there’s only one) and how-tos (also one) are the quickest. i think i busted out the avocado one last night in 20 minutes.

in addition to getting posts ready are the photos. i had started eyeing DSLR cameras and checking out the forreal food bloggers for their recommendations, but their cameras are in the 1.5-2k range. i cannot drop that much on a camera. but, i told myself, i could drop that much on a new iphone! so i treated myself to the iphone xr this past weekend (it’s 1k over 30 months) and the camera is amazeballs.

i can’t wait to upload pics of dinner tonight for a sixth article-in-the-wait!

back to mine

i never would have thought a new sauté pan and a new toilet (both of which were replacing ancient versions of themselves) would make me feel so much happier in my house.

i think i finally have all of the rooms the way i want them, except for the paint… i want to do the bathroom, bedroom, and living/dining room. it’s time for a change (the kitchen and hallway color is perfect).

since it’s the start of birthday week, i slept in until 9 and we coffeed on the couch, i walked the dogs, we planned a handful of meals for the week, went to woodman’s, made migas, and now he’s watching the cubs while i work on *drum roll please!*

my new food blog!

i’m really surprised at how much time it takes me to write a post! i hope it gets a little faster, but it probably won’t because i’m meticulous with my choice of words and have a lot to talk about.

it’s been good, though. i like thinking more about easy meals that i wish friends would make instead of ordering out all the time (like i used to) or eating at chain restaurants. i think, in the last 11 months, i’ve ordered for delivery six times. that’s a complete 180° from me even two years ago. it’s exciting to know that i get to re-read my cookbooks knowing how to plan for leftovers and knowing better substitutes.

i probably won’t post so much food here now, so head on over to the Gunna Finish That? facebook page or the site itself.

almost ready

after arduously sketching, designing, and picking colors, i landed on a logo for the food blog, which, after the domain name, is the most important thing.

i got the facebook page set up but have been having trouble with instagram cuz there was “sorry an error occurred” when i tried signing up the first time, so now they think my both email address and the @name is in use, so i can’t sign up.

anyhoo, i took pics of the first featured meal last night and have a list of the next few in my head. i think i’d like to launch with five meals and try to post two a week. that seems reasonable.

new adventure!

i’ve been posting a lot of food pics on facebook in an attempt to bring it back to the “boring social media” of food and dog pics, instead of political arguments and neighborhood groups taking pot shots at each other.

after one such post, my aunt suggested that i start a food blog. immediately, my mind went to, “but what would be the best domain name?” instead of, “could i really pull that off? how would that even work since i’m making other people’s food.”

well, i found a domain name, and have a rough sketch of a plan to get things started. i will be mostly showcasing recipes that i love from authors that i adore, sharing my modifications but always giving credit to the original post/book/blog.

i think it will also give me the opportunity to show friends that they can make food, too! it doesn’t have to be as arduous as some folks think it is, and i’ll even share my follies if i ever have them ;)

once i get the site up and have a few recipes queued, i’ll post the url here.

spring!

after a long hiatus, i finally let myself get back on the bike and stop being chauffeured around. i’ve got what i dub “saddlebutt“, which is the painful feeling right in the rear that happens when one gets on one’s bike after not biking for over a month (or more). the pain is subsiding after day four 

my mood seems uplifted lately. i’ve been arranging most of the rooms in the house, donating or regifting things that i don’t need anymore. we have a dining table, we can use the kitchen counters, and the office is next. i’d like to clean up the bookshelves and start compartmentalize things in there.

i submitted a march madness bracket at wilson’s yesterday. it’s $10 to play… maybe i’ll win a bunch back!

work has been relatively more stressful lately. i asked for a mental health day next friday. i just need to make it five more business days. rodney’s birthday is the 30th, and i’m trying to figure out where we should go for dinner. graft, morris ramen, and rare are all in the running. i’m sure you’ll hear all about it after next weekend, gentle reader.